• Andre Lamartin

Love Again


The greatest tragedy of allowing your heart to be broken by a loved one is knowing she succeeded where all your enemies together failed. Knowing her soul was simply bargained away for money does very little to mollify the lingering pain. The reason a self-respecting man can never truly understand prostitution is that somethings in life money should never buy. Intimacy certainly requires a familiarity no stranger should ever be allowed to explore. As some women fall in love with things they can´t have, some men fall in love with women they can´t reach, and the ensuing maelstrom pursues them even in their sleep. Some men die every night only to be reborn the very next day, never really knowing if they are dreaming while awake. Others succumb to nightmares that never seem to end, as unanswered are the prayers unbecoming of a friend. Not knowing the marked difference between a nightmare and a dream often explains how easily a man becomes imprisoned within himself. Though quiet moments of sincere contemplation can help us regain our bearings, misplaced trust tends to deeply scar a gentle heart in indelible ways. One in desperate need of caring more about himself is a man projecting his happiness entirely on someone else. How unfortunate the most difficult verities to share in life should also be so easily misunderstood. Some heavy loads a man must simply learn to carry all by himself. Bearing in mind the many lessons of his personal history, the best a man can ever learn from a prior failed relationship is what mistakes never to make again. Simply reliving the past makes it impossible... to ever fall in Love Again.


An early indication of what may be amiss in a woman's otherwise solitary life is her almost pathological fascination with fashion accessories. If what a woman carries inside her bag is considerably more mysterious than what she carries inside her heart, knowing where true value resides holds the true meaning of her life. A sincere heart of gold never measures its priceless value merely according to its own weight. Knowing how to properly love a woman first requires valuing our priorities in life. Only a world of incessant personal gratification, always fueled by endless consumption, can ever provide a woman the company she seeks, if the secret into her heart is simply to live a shimmering, billable life. Realizing the folly of this devilish bargain, any self-discerning woman clearly understands that if true love were up for sale, the rich would long ago have inherited the Earth. Despite the mesmerizing lavishness of their lifestyles, the rich are not necessarily known for their legendary happiness and stable emotional life. Suffice to say if being sad is a full-time occupation, it certainly pays being unemployed. The tragic paradox of living in a world of extreme wealth, one where prices no longer matter, is valuing only that which is freely sold, as opposed to that commanding absolutely no price at all. If one day finding himself in a baseless world where money buys him anything, a man should always remind himself: this can only be called a whore house.


In a world where almost anything can be bought and sold, assessing the true value of a human being requires looking well past the illusionary realm of false appearances. That every man should have his price is one of the many tragedies of modern capitalism, democratic governance, and even interpersonal relationships, especially when love itself is priced, marketed, and sold. Despite the overbearing dominance of false appearances, determining what a human being really stands for is certainly a task to behold. In interpersonal relationships, knowing where a woman´s first allegiance lies should first be learned through sincere and meaningful dialogue. Words are the standard of value against which actions are then carefully assessed. If disregarding what a woman has to say is the best way to start a relationship, no lack of meaningful conversation will ever be the reason for its most certain demise. Words, both spoken and written, are the standard-bearers of the values we represent, especially once corroborated by the appropriate action. Having coincident values was one of my primary concerns when last becoming involved, but even values age and wither away with the unrelenting passage of time. Permanence is an illusion the fleeting transience of this world always tries to dispel. As life so clearly indicates, the same bonds that bind us together can also tear us apart. There is only so much that physical attraction can accomplish in this regard. Deceptive is the beauty that first attracts you to a given location only to smother the life out of you the very next minute. If some women can be compared to cities, always be ready to look well beyond the most beguiling of superficial appearances. What remains unseen can be much more revealing of life in some cities than what is openly disclosed, unless both heart and mind should get tragically lost along life´s tortuous way. Unbeknownst to all but her closest confidants, a woman's physical beauty is merely an invitation to discover and rediscover her personality. If only the many shared this view, no young girl would ever grow up and mature only to be even less valued and respected as a woman.


What a pity that in a world where majorities presumably rule, looking past superficial appearances should always remain a minority view. Some men fall in love only with their unfounded first impression of the love interest in question, as blinding physical beauty awakens an unquenchable desire. Although this siren of the mind is most certainly not the underlying secret of female beauty, subliminal deception may very well be. As Shakespeare himself once noted, if the entire world's a stage, and we must each play our parts, some actresses are willing to sacrifice much more than a pound of flesh for the roles they play, as the merchant of Venice would so tragically say. An actress never true to herself always pretends to be someone else. More than an artistic profession for some, acting is a ubiquitous way of life for many. Where fiction ends and reality begins is certainly a subjective matter open to interpretation, at least for those unprotective of their feelings. Knowing where to place your trust is half the battle when so much stands in the way of interpersonal happiness. Fortunately, a woman's eyes will usually say what her lips are unwilling, conveying a truth her lips so often deny. Whether this truth amounts to a sincere representation of her innermost feelings, one that can always be relied upon, comes with a sobering caveat: only trust a woman always true to her feelings, if her feelings are always true to you. The loyalty of a loved one is the primary guarantor of much that follows in an interpersonal relationship, especially when so much is privately shared throughout the course of its lifetime. For relationships that flourish during periods of great elation, the true test of loyalty is taken only during the most challenging moments of hardship, and accompanying personal frustration.


Unable to weather the irascible tempests of life, many are the couples that succumb to seemingly inevitable moments of oppression and despair. Amid times of trouble, to denigrate the love once shared is to believe reciprocity is no longer necessary in the relationship. Never should a man underestimate what a disillusioned woman will do to him when no longer feeling duly appreciated. If an oppressive, surrounding social environment also proves inimical to the relationship itself, ensuring its continuance may require a much more adversarial stance against envious third parties. Love without reciprocity is just an invitation to self-destruction, one of the many lessons of the cross for those who could bear it. To love your enemy is quite simply to hate yourself. Very few are the duly noted exceptions, where only a miraculous conversion was divinely possible. If the past is any indication of what the future may hold, never ignore the wisdom of words fully paid for in blood, sweat, tears, and no small measure of divine self-sacrifice. When everyone around you is always trying to hurt you, it may simply be best to so humbly return the favor. This is the least we could ever do for the ones we will never love. Few choices in life are as important as the loved ones we allow into our hearts. The wrong company only makes you long for your own space, and the accompanying time to enjoy it. Finding life to be more of a burden than a real blessing only means that we have already aged long before our time, something to be avoided if at all possible.


Although the love for our enemies is a Christian imposition arising from the "Sermon on the Mount", only considerable heartache has convinced me to occasionally abandon it. Succinctly put, time spent loving our enemies, so as to convert them into allies and believers, is time unspent loving our neighbors as ourselves. Being on the receiving end of considerable aggravation while doing so is also extremely unpleasant and regretful. My past personal reaction has always been to so tragically turn the other cheek, almost to the point where entertaining a brand-new perspective now seems in order. Before learning how to love others, first know how to love life itself. Just as no man should feel compelled to embrace an envious society that eternally oppresses him, no man should ever remain in a failed relationship only to prove he can still love his enemy. When life becomes a tragically sad and dreary affair, perhaps it's time to reconsider the company we keep. Light and darkness never so easily coexist within a relationship without one asserting dominance over the other. As time rarely favors those inimical to change, sometimes a man must see his tragic end coming before fully understanding his once humble beginnings. So many of the "living" disregard already being dead, many of the dead insist on remaining alive. When time itself openly conspires against us, the least we can ever do... is to fully reciprocate in kind. Worrying excessively about the future is to sacrifice the many unique opportunities the present moment may always provide.


A true believer lives out his dreams instead of merely experiencing them while asleep. What this entails in personal terms is something to consider. Truly valuing love means knowing how to live for it without first deluding myself into blind complacency, hatred, or hypocrisy. Being single only means momentarily valuing my individual freedom well above the company of another. A love leading only to a mendacious, heartless servitude is slavery in disguise. Not all female senses are always on speaking terms, as a woman's eyes will always say what her lips are unwilling, conveying a veiled truth her mouth so often denies. If believing in a relationship requires a man to rely solely on his imagination, contrary to what his own senses may have to say, then heartbreak is more than amply justified. The day a once servile man realizes he is utterly bound is the day he might finally start vying for his once forsaken freedom. If wisdom should continue to accompany me throughout my days, then so much that was painfully learned should not tomorrow simply fade away. In the absence of true companionship, no relationship ever survives the always irascible tempests of life. The company we keep, and the people we choose to hold, should all be carefully considered when so much is bought and sold. Although innocence rarely defies the passage of time, beauty usually lies about this unconscionable crime. The experience of troubled years always seems to contend: being young and beautiful is just… another old means to an end. To fall in love a second time, the heart must itself defend: in life the greatest sacrifice... is to never fall in Love Again.