Out of Many, One

Having lived overseas the majority of my life, not by personal choice, but as an imposition dictated by circumstances well beyond my control, my love for the United States of America has never been an overpowering sentiment simply determined by birth alone. The notion that love often requires an equal measure of personal self-sacrifice, always in the defense of our highest values, interests, ideas, dreams and beliefs, was never entirely lost on me. Though the Bible taught me that Israel was the promised land, my mind, heart and soul eventually settled for a finer location.

Only the reckless naiveté of youth could ever explain the choice of  distancing myself from American shores for so long. Upon my last departure from the US many years ago, it was never my expectation that a fateful return would ever take so long, requiring endless years of personal self-sacrifice always in defense of dreams never entirely my own. All the unnecessary violence, pain, blood and tears shed during these long intervening years scarred me in ways that words alone could never aptly express. Suffice to say that no man unwilling to fight for his freedom is ever truly deserving of it.

Deeply distressing is all the hatred, violence and persecution that one is liable to face simply for defending the oneiric concept of a country where life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are not just empty words entirely devoid of extant meaning. Despite having only 4% of the world's population, America is the richest country in the world, accounting for approximately 25% of global GDP. The caustic amount of envy directed at the US solely because of its unparalleled wealth and leading global standing is not to be trifled with. To say that Americans are hated the world over merely for living in the land of the free and the home of the brave is also a crass understatement. Those who defend the American dream must be ready to face disquieting hardship and unrelenting opposition, especially when doing so overseas.

As those forced to live far away from home can earnestly attest, losing your bearings may occasionally be a curse to tragically accompany the foreign territory. Lest one should constantly remind himself of the country from which he hails, adopting a new persona simply to fit in may eventually compromise one's original identity. The pain that comes along with a change of scenery that also brings about a change of character is only revealing of the myriad personal sacrifices one may stoically feel compelled to make. Never losing sight of your original self and the values for which you stand is paramount to preserving your sanity. Amid trying circumstances that constantly conspire against our future well-being, remembering whom we really are is truly indispensable.

For this reason and many more, surrounding myself with American culture has always helped me to alleviate and mitigate the pain of straying so far away from my spiritual home. Films, music, books, newspapers and comfort foods have always helped create a semblance of home, even despite all that reality so bitterly has to say on this subject. Though some may simply dismiss this as alienation, the heart, mind and soul all have reasons that defy reason itself. Much more than soft power, a country's culture often conveys its most cherished beliefs, values, ideas and interests, allowing others to sample its life even while residing in the most remote of foreign lands.

In this sense, movies have always taken me places I could never truly venture alone before. The beloved stories told and memorable characters portrayed helped me feel a spiritual connection to a distant home at once so far away while also impossibly close. These characters and I spoke the same language in more ways than one. Being able to fully communicate without the troubling imposition of undue language barriers was always a shared blessing. Much more than mere entertainment, movies made me feel at home even when roaming through the most dangerous and forlorn of distant locations.

Although living vicariously often leaves much to be desired, some of the most life altering decisions of our youth can rarely be taken back in later years. If the roads we choose in life truly define whom we really are, the ones paved with personal self-sacrifice are only for a brave and proud few. What a tragic irony that to protect all we love most in life we should sometimes have to distance ourselves from it. When it comes to finally settling down for good, though there are many countries in the world one can conceivably choose from, for some of us this choice has always been a quaint illusion. Out of many there has always been... only one.